Mid Summer Update 2009

We have a six month old now! He's over 20 lbs, babbling away, starting to scoot around (only backwards, hasn't figured out forward movement yet) and, as always, is so sweet, happy, a good sleeper. . . we're amazingly blessed. Every morning we have a nice cuddle and after work we like to sit on the front step and watch the world go by. They're my favorite parts of my day. 

We go on family walks a few times a week.

We've had our first visit to the park. 

A morning at the county fair. 

And a great long weekend in Iowa at my parents house. Relaxing for me, totally fun for the grandparents, and hopefully fun for David too. 

My work continues to be stressful. There are rewarding moments, but it's been a challenge. I had to go into the city for some work events a few weeks back, and it was nice to have a chance to wander around the lakefront by myself. Beautiful Chicago.

I can't believe it's almost August. I feel like we've had some nice summer moments though, so that the months aren't passing by too rapidly. Life with a six month old is pretty sweet, so I'm just trying to enjoy every day. 

long weekend

If every weekend was three days long I'm pretty sure my life would be perfect. 

We've had a nice time so far these few days. Even though the fourth was rainy, it cleared up for most of the important parts: the parade in the morning and the fireworks. David slept through most of the parade, despite every single noisy float/band stopping right in front of us. Oh, to sleep like a baby. What he did see he seemed to enjoy. 

(Sidenote: David's getting HUGE. Almost 20 pounds already, can you believe it?)

Later we had some friends and Mike's family over for dinner. It was fun. I have to admit though. .  the part of the evening I enjoyed most was when everyone went to the fireworks and I stayed home with a sleeping David and the dog. Now that I'm a mom, I'm finding that I have very little quality alone time. As much as I love my husband and baby, sometimes it's nice to just be by myself. So after everyone left last night, I put the ipod on shuffle, cleaned up the house, caught up on folding laundry for the first time in months, and generally just enjoyed the solitude. The fireworks go off only a few blocks from our house, so near the end I walked out onto the front sidewalk and caught a glimpse of a few. That was enough for me. 

design team call

So: scrapbooking. I do it. It's true. I think it's time I man up and stop calling it something else. But I do feel like I come to it with a different sensibility maybe? Anyway. Now that I have this special little guy in my life, it's especially important for me to write things down, remember the stories, create something for posterity. And since paper + glue is pretty much my favorite, why not scrapbook? 

I tend not to go too crazy over products, but there are a few companies that I always love. Cosmo Cricket is one of them. Their designs have a kind of fresh spirit and quirky humor and the colors are perfect in a non-traditional but very usable kind of way. I was doing a search today because I'd heard they're making fabrics of the designs (how awesome is that?) and I saw on their blog that there's a design team call. And it's due today. Nice timing, huh? I've never done something like this but I figure, hey, I love the stuff, maybe it's worth a shot. 

Links go to the original Flickr page (where I usually post my art and scrapbooking.) 

Pages from my art journal, done when I was pregnant, right after our first ultrasound. 

A recent "blowing off steam" collage. Sometimes just cutting and pasting is so soothing to me. And who doesn't love rainbow order?

My April guest design for The Art is Found. I didn't totally love this when I made it, but the more I look at it the more I really dig it. 

One of the tutorials from Rachel Denbow's summer art journal class. I'm still working through the class and really loving it. I'm trying to take it slow and savor it rather than finishing everything just for the sake of finishing. 

And a recent layout from David's scrapbook, made this past weekend. The journalling is just about the daily stuff of life with the baby. Washing bottles! Etc. 

So that's it! Just a few of my precious little paper + glue projects. 

I know it's been forever since I blogged. . . and there are two good reasons. I've been: 

1. Working so hard at my dayjob I swear my head literally spins by the end of every day. We're at the tail end of the busy season now and I feel like I'm coming up for air. I finally relaxed enough this weekend to feel kind of okay again. It's been pretty intense. It would have been pretty unbearable if not for the fact that I've also been. . . 

2. Hanging out with the most awesome baby of all time. Seriously, David is such a good boy and now that he's 5 months a lot of things have smoothed out and we're just cruising along. He's so happy and fun to be around. We feel soooo lucky. Ahh, happiness. 

he's got a lot to say

I think David has discovered consonants. I love this kid. Even his voice is adorable!

By the way, I'm classing it up a bit and changing most of my internet usernames to my actual name. My tumblr is now katielicht.tumblr.com. I might even switch the blog over at some point. . . but that's a huge pain, so we'll see. 

lovely afternoon

I had a long day at work today but it was a lovely spring evening at home. David was super sleepy when i picked him up at daycare, and he went down for a little nap when we got home around 5. Thank you angelic baby! I had a half hour to myself to just sit on the patio and unwind. David woke up right around when Mike came home, and we sat outside for a while and went for a little walk around the block. The weather was beautiful and it was the best way to end my day. 

mother's day, this year and last

I want to preface this photo by saying, it's an OLD photo. I'm definitely NOT pregnant again. :)

This is what we were doing a year ago on Mother's day. Even though this is my first official Mother's Day, it was definitely something last year. 

Where would any of us be without our mothers? Now that I have a child of my own I'm amazed by my parents. Amazed by any parent that turns out a halfway decent, normal, happy child. It's a daunting task, but not without it's charm. 

Especially this particular charm. The end result of those two little lines, one year later.

just about everything!

brain dump! there's about a million things I've been meaning to blog about. Here you go. 

I've been falling into a pretty good work/home/life balance. It's not ideal but I think for now it's pretty close. As usual, David is as stellar a baby as I could hope for, so that definitely helps. He's been going to sleep between 7-8, only waking up twice, and then up for the day around 7:30. That last part is key, since I can get up at a decent hour, get ready by myself, and THEN have some fun baby times before we head out for the day. The mornings go about ten times better than I could have imagined. 

Work has been pretty good too. This week was kind of a big deal for me; I was art directing a photoshoot by myself for the first time. I had a lot of apprehension about it initially. I don't think art directing is one of my strong suits, plus a few things have happened at work in the past year that have really done a number on my self-confidence. And I always feel like self-confidence is half the battle. But! It went pretty well, and I definitely feel like I did better every day. Even my half-assy food styling skills improved. I'm happy I was given the chance to do this and I hope that I can continue to improve. 

And overall, I really do enjoy going to work. Do I feel like I'm missing out on seeing my son? Yes. But. I also feel like I enjoy David so much more when I see him for only a limited time. Something about that sounds horrible, but it's true though. When I'm with him, I'm totally loving it since I know the time is precious. 

He's getting so fun, too! He is making little laughy baby noises. He's grabbing at toys and really examining them. When it's been sunny after work, I've been taking him on little walks in the Baby Bjorn, and he loves looking up at trees, he gets this fascinated look on his face and just studies them intently.  It's totally adorable. 

So, in summation: things are good. I don't know if I could ask for much better. 

David loves the dog. Isn't this the cutest?

back again

I don’t know why, but I think I assumed when I came back to work things would be really different. So far it has been SO SIMILAR it feels like the past three months have not happened. I still love working with the same people and projects, and the same people and projects still annoy me. I can’t keep my desk clean for the life of me. I start every morning with the intention of working super hard and then end up chatting way too much and checking my email every 15 minutes.

 

It’s like so many other aspects of life post-baby. When David was born, my entire world was reborn. My perspective, my goals, the way I think about myself and my life. With all those things changing, it felt natural to me that the rest of the world should be different too. But somehow the rest of the world was unaware of the existence of my son. What, no parades? No renaming of expressways or airports? Everyone else is still attending work and school and driving around and going about their lives like nothing happened? Huh, strange. The first time I left the house by myself post-baby, I went to my beloved Target. Everything about it was exactly the same, but I felt like I was somewhere new and different. Hard to describe. 

Anyway, I'm doing surprisingly well back at work. I only cried once this week, and those were happiness tears when I saw his first smile after picking him up at daycare. The transition was mostly eased by the fact that Mike stayed home almost every day this week. The hardest part of going back to work is the whole morning routine getting myself and the baby up and ready and out the door. David doesn't start full time at day care until the week after next; so maybe it will be more challenging then. For now I'm easing into this life adjustment. It's going better than I expected. 

Easter 2009

A couple from Easter and one more from this morning for good measure.

As soon as I started writing here I heard the little gruntings that mean my little man is waking up from his noontime nap. It's our last full day together; usually I'd let him be for a while and finish writing, but time is precious today so it's baby playtime now. 

Hope you had a happy Easter. 

massive mixed feelings

tummy time! This is important as the back of David's head seems to be getting flatter. 

Things have been going extremely well lately. It's actually a shame, since just as everything has fallen into place, I'll be going back to work soon. 

My days at home have developed into a pleasant pattern. In the mornings, I bring David into bed with me and usually feed him there. It's such a nice cuddly time. The rest of the day is playtime, feeding, rocking, sleeping, repeat repeat repeat. There are some days when he goes on a Nap Strike, and those days are less than pleasant, but I think I'm getting better about reading his sleepy cues and getting him down before he gets overtired. But on days he does take good naps, I can make dinner or bake something, do some yoga, work on art projects, spend time online. And even though it IS hard work to take care of a baby, I know I'll miss this relaxed pace of life when I have to return to the office. 

I can't imagine that I could have more conflicted feelings about going back to work. There's a large part of me that can't wait to get back: to see my friends, to have adult interaction again, and even just to work again. I miss designing! But there's an equally large part that's kinda heartbroken over it. I know I'll miss him, and I also worry about the daycare thing. Even though I really like David's daycare, it's not the same as the one on one attention I can give him every day. Honestly I just try not to think about it too much. And if I'm continuing to be honest. . . I daydream a lot about working part time some day. At this point I don't know if I'm cut out to stay at home full time (the main drawback to maternity leave has been feelings of loneliness/isolation); but part time would be ideal. We'll see where time takes us.

i'll take you down where the birds fly by

Having trouble stringing the words together lately. I swear I always think of things to write here, but then they flit away from me. I guess because a lot of it is so mundane. Do you really want to hear about my struggles with trying to get David to nap during the day? Or cradle cap?  Yeah, I didn't think so. 

So here are a bunch of things: My parents came for a visit. We had a great time. The weather has been amazing and long walks are so good for me and my un-excercised body; the boy mostly just sleeps through them. I have been to a few different moms groups and feel that I don't fit very well into the suburban mom demographic (maybe this is something I should expound on at some point). But I am making friends with some of the younger moms at my church, which is good I think. I can't wait until David starts sleeping a little longer at night. . . I'm getting used to waking up 2-3 times a night, but that doesn't make it any easier. 

Our little guy is doing great though, and I really can't complain. . . I only have five more weeks of maternity leave and I am trying to savor it all while I can. 

And some pictures. 

little dude

photos!

my favorite subject: a baby and a puppy

asleep in the swing

bundled up for a cool day walk with Mike. 

I tweeted recently about my life revolving around David's naps. It's totally true. If he doesn't nap, he fusses a lot and that makes me crazy. If he naps too much, I get kinda bored and wish he would wake up. Little dude has been sleeping almost ALL day today. I actually called the pediatrician about it since it seems so out of the ordinary. Then I felt kind of dumb because, really, who worries about their infant sleeping too much? 

why I shouldn't leave baby stuff on the floor

pug in a boppy.

We really need to get a toybox or a toy cabinet or something, otherwise I'm going to wake up to this every morning.

my little buddy

I can't believe it's been a month since our David came into the world. The days are becoming kind of blurry at this point. . . every day is similar but there's no real pattern yet. Just lots of feeding, napping, being held, crying a little. He loves to lay on the ground and just kick his arms and legs around. Little baby excercise! It's amazing to watch him grow and change every day. About a week ago we definitely noticed him actually starting to look at things, and he's making all kinds of noises now, too. He's our little Grunty Magoo.

My thoughts are pretty quiet so I don't have a lot to share. I feel all my energy streaming out of me straight into the little guy, so there's not a lot left over for anything else. I do post to my tumblr almost everyday. It's one of the little things I try to do on a daily basis to make myself feel like I'm accomplishing something. I feel pretty good if I do the dishes and get a load of laundry done every day. It's a pretty small world for me. I think that's how it should be though, just me and my little guy.

how we spend our afternoons

napping and listening to andrew bird. feeling peaceful. i think we're both too warm but i don't want to wake the little guy!

thoughts at three weeks

I'm trying to gather some thoughts together about the transition from being pregnant to being a parent. It's unlike anything else I've ever experienced mentally, physically, emotionally. I look at all the books I read and classes I took about childbirth or childcare, and it all seems a bit futile. I'm glad I was mentally prepared, and had a good base knowledge, but the reality of it blows any kind of practical knowledge away.

I had such an amazing pregnancy, I wonder if that's not part of the reason the transition was a little hard for me. I always hear about women that are so glad to not be pregnant that having a kid seems like a breeze, but it was the opposite for me. Man, being pregnant was great. I actually felt better during most of those months than I do normally; and I know that makes me incredibly lucky.

After those few rough weeks, I finally feel like I've settled in and am really enjoying my time at home with my son. And at almost three weeks out, I'm feeling a little more like my self, like my identity is coming back, I'm not just a Mom. Its reassuring after some time wondering if I'd ever feel the same again.

The pleasant weather here has helped immensely, too. We got out for a walk three days in a row, fresh air and sunshine never felt so good.

in between

couldn't resist this shot. :)

This afternoon my mother in law came over to take David off my hands for a few hours so I could run errands and get out in the world. It was only my second time away from him in the two weeks since he was born, and man . . . it's weird. How can you miss someone you've only been away from for twenty minutes? I didn't even make it an hour and a half before I came home again. 

I would have been gone longer, maybe, if I had any cash on me. Can you believe I forgot my ATM pin number? It's been so long since I've used it it's completely slipped my mind. 

I had intended on doing some thrift shopping this afternoon but I have a cash-only thrifting policy (I like to limit myself so I don't buy things I don't need just because they're cheap.) My wardrobe right now is pretty sad.  If I'm not wearing pajamas and my husbands t-shirts, I'm wearing maternity clothes. The problem is, most of my maternity clothes are work clothes, which isn't great for hanging around the house. And my regular clothes definitely do not fit yet. Maybe this weekend I'll find the time to get out again and go buy some $2 t shirts. 

my kid doesn't suck

um, literally.

So I know I've shared before that I've been having some problems with breastfeeding. And after numerous visits with a lactation consultant, endless nursing/pumping sessions, and a drug whose main side effect was to make me want to lay in bed and cry all day, I'm finding that I just do not make enough milk to sustain my child. David is a lazy eater, and the catch-22 of nursing is that if your kid doesn't eat enough, you stop producing enough. It's been a downward spiral the past few weeks. 

totally intense charts I've had to keep: time and length of feeding, quality of feeding, diaper contents, amount of supplement, amount of expressed milk. I feel like I've been working on a crappy science fair project.

I keep second guessing myself and wondering, maybe if I didn't let him have that one bottle in the hospital when I hadn't slept in a day and a half, maybe if I would have seen a different lactation consultant, things might be different. But I'm coming around to see the realities of feeding my child will be: nursing if I can, pumping if I can, and making up the difference with formula.

It's been incredibly heart wrenching and I will admit I spent a large portion of the past week crying, but I feel ten times better today. I know this is the beginning of many hurdles of parenthood that basically teach the same lesson: you have to do what is best for your family with the resources you have, in a way that will maintain your sanity. I don't want to spend all of David's infant months weeping over ounces of milk; I want to spend them loving and enjoying him. I've made my peace and am moving forward. 

One week and a bit

Yesterday was a big day for our family: David's baptism! I know a lot of people wondered why we didn't wait a while to baptize him, but it's something that's pretty important to Mike and I and I'm so glad we did it. 

It is such a blessing to have a pastor for a dad. Not only did he marry us, but he also performed the baptism yesterday, for his namesake grandson. While it was happening I remember feeling like it was one of the most holy moments of my life, with my dad performing the sacrament, my brother and sister in law as sponsors, and our church's pastors there too. It felt nice to be in church, too, something so normal to me after the past week of non-normalcy. 

After all of yesterday's hoopla and family visits and running around, we're decompressing a bit today. It's so nice to have Mike at home for an extra hand with diaper changes and milk warming. The next five days alone are looming large for me. I'm lucky that David sleeps so well at night, but I'm definitely still adjusting to being at home and learning how to take care of this new little person all by myself. 

baby and puppy, just hangin' out

cuteface

David, 6 days

We had a good morning today. Last night I slept for more than 4 hours, and this morning David has been either alert, eating, or sleeping; not too much frustrating in-between of crying or fussing. We even danced around listening to Jack Johnson for a while. Happy times. 

This afternoon has been . . . okay.  I met with a lactation consultant about my breastfeeding issues and the news wasn't great. I have pretty low supply for some reason she couldn't pinpoint. Thankfully I have a new plan of attack and it can only get better from here.