Monday, March 30, 2009

massive mixed feelings

tummy time! This is important as the back of David's head seems to be getting flatter. 

Things have been going extremely well lately. It's actually a shame, since just as everything has fallen into place, I'll be going back to work soon. 

My days at home have developed into a pleasant pattern. In the mornings, I bring David into bed with me and usually feed him there. It's such a nice cuddly time. The rest of the day is playtime, feeding, rocking, sleeping, repeat repeat repeat. There are some days when he goes on a Nap Strike, and those days are less than pleasant, but I think I'm getting better about reading his sleepy cues and getting him down before he gets overtired. But on days he does take good naps, I can make dinner or bake something, do some yoga, work on art projects, spend time online. And even though it IS hard work to take care of a baby, I know I'll miss this relaxed pace of life when I have to return to the office. 

I can't imagine that I could have more conflicted feelings about going back to work. There's a large part of me that can't wait to get back: to see my friends, to have adult interaction again, and even just to work again. I miss designing! But there's an equally large part that's kinda heartbroken over it. I know I'll miss him, and I also worry about the daycare thing. Even though I really like David's daycare, it's not the same as the one on one attention I can give him every day. Honestly I just try not to think about it too much. And if I'm continuing to be honest. . . I daydream a lot about working part time some day. At this point I don't know if I'm cut out to stay at home full time (the main drawback to maternity leave has been feelings of loneliness/isolation); but part time would be ideal. We'll see where time takes us.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I hear you!

Let me put in my 2 cents. Part time work is awesome! It is great to have some time with adults and use your degree, but it is also wonderful to be at home a majority of the time. Good luck going back to work!