massive mixed feelings

tummy time! This is important as the back of David's head seems to be getting flatter. 

Things have been going extremely well lately. It's actually a shame, since just as everything has fallen into place, I'll be going back to work soon. 

My days at home have developed into a pleasant pattern. In the mornings, I bring David into bed with me and usually feed him there. It's such a nice cuddly time. The rest of the day is playtime, feeding, rocking, sleeping, repeat repeat repeat. There are some days when he goes on a Nap Strike, and those days are less than pleasant, but I think I'm getting better about reading his sleepy cues and getting him down before he gets overtired. But on days he does take good naps, I can make dinner or bake something, do some yoga, work on art projects, spend time online. And even though it IS hard work to take care of a baby, I know I'll miss this relaxed pace of life when I have to return to the office. 

I can't imagine that I could have more conflicted feelings about going back to work. There's a large part of me that can't wait to get back: to see my friends, to have adult interaction again, and even just to work again. I miss designing! But there's an equally large part that's kinda heartbroken over it. I know I'll miss him, and I also worry about the daycare thing. Even though I really like David's daycare, it's not the same as the one on one attention I can give him every day. Honestly I just try not to think about it too much. And if I'm continuing to be honest. . . I daydream a lot about working part time some day. At this point I don't know if I'm cut out to stay at home full time (the main drawback to maternity leave has been feelings of loneliness/isolation); but part time would be ideal. We'll see where time takes us.